The concept of beauty
It’s so hard for a woman to find herself beautiful in a world that is constantly showing us very narrow definitions of beauty. In a place where everything has to make impression, we are put to the test of staying real to ourselves and believing that we are worthy of love and attention.
Why the external things and our body image is playing such a major role today? Why so often I see women and young girls that are coming to my studio saying: “I am not beautiful”, “I don’t remember when was the last time I felt beautiful”, “I am not worthy of any attention, I have a square body and I hate it” or “I wish I was born not that way…” Those stories are real. And believe me, I know how painful it is to feel that way.
I know – you need to work on your self esteem and love yourself now. I know that there will be always people that will tell you “You’re beautiful”, but does it really help? Hearing that or even telling yourself that you like the way you look is easy, but believing it – deeply within, is an entirely different story.
Every single one of us has a body image. We cannot avoid having feelings about how we look; it is just a part of our human nature. We are influenced by how others see us and what they might think about us. We are formed by the beauty standards, that are ever evolving. From the moment we are born – we are influenced by those around us. Families and friends convey to us positive and negative messages regarding our bodies continuously. Media that are showing us the way ‘the ideal woman’ should look like – setting the standards for todays women. It’s so powerful, that people, and especially girls and young women, are progressively comparing themselves to clinically underweight models. The funny thing is – it’s not anything new. For ages that’s how we’ve been trained!
Every weight loss program, no matter how positively packaged, whispers to you that you’re not right. You’re not good enough. You’re unacceptable and you need to be fixed. When you add to it the whole process of aging, illness, and emotions – that’s a real challenge. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if we could create the positive body image all on our own…
The main is thing is to understand that having a positive body image is not about how you look! It’s about how you feel about yourself and the way you look!
So often we are measured by the things we can not control. The way our body curves or does not curve, the inches we have in certain plaices, our height, muscle and bone structure, everything that is mostly determined by our genes. When do we understand that ideal beauty is ideal because it does not exist!
There is no right or wrong when it comes to body shape or appearance. Everyone is different in body size and shape and we should celebrate our diversity and individuality!
The beauty of the woman is not in the clothes she wears, the perfumes she uses or the way she makes her hair. It’s not in the makeup kit or false lashes ether! You can have stretch marks and saggy arms and be beautiful, because that is not where your beauty is!
Your beauty is in you and your heart and soul, in the way you love your children and your family. And those flabby arms hug and comfort and bring joy to your family and friends! It’s in your eyes, and in the way you care about other people, in the way you speak with love and passion about what’s important to you. It’s all there! So, next time, when you look in the mirror, I want to ask you something – try to let go of the story-line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look in the mirror and see yourself. Look at your eyes and when you put aside the whole criticism, what’s left is the real YOU – the beautifully made woman, that can conquer the world.
Always remember that.
I try to feel beautiful until I look at pictures of myself. This is a struggle that I need to fight.
Tara- you just need one picture of yourself that you really love- and it will all change! Find a good photographer that will capture what’s beautiful in you…and you’ll have a proof that it’s just the matter of a person that is taking the picture- not you! You are already gorgeous!
What a lovely endearing post! I have struggled with accepting my own body image because I have been bullied throughout my life but I am a firm lover of the human body and think that everyone is beautiful no matter what shape they are.
I know how you feel- and I know it’s hard. But the time will come and one day- you’ll be able to see what’s beautiful in you – not only in others. Hang in there Ana- you are not alone!
The concept of beauty hasn’t changed, it still drives women to do a lot of things with their body, sometimes even if they don’t like it. We should all help each other to learn how to accept our bodies. Thanks for this good read.
You are totally right!
Love this post so much! I hope one day we as women can start lifting each other up more so that we can get to a place where its ok for us to be happy with how we are. I think we all have moments of insecurity and it doesn’t help if you have no one there to help reassure you and only people doing the opposite.
Stacy- we can start now- with women around us…It’s all good.
Everyone is beautiful!
Love your post! As for those taglines, I released them years now and it was the best thing that I could do for myself!
I love this post! We as women are constantly told that we are not good enough and should be the media ideal. The older I get the more comfortable I am in my own body x
I love this post. Sadly, many women, no mattr what they look like, are unhappy with the way they look.
I believe I am fearfully and wonderfully made I love my body for it has carried a cantankerous me for 40+ years in great health. Who am I to judge its shape, size, dents and dinges when I contributed to its state. So I love it all and enjoy living in it :)
Yes! Beauty is what lies within.
There really are such narrow constraints for beauty. Pity. Everyone is beautiful in one way or another, inside and out.
beauty is such a controversial topic because some people will consider you vain if you think of yourself as beautiful but if you don’t think of yourself as beautiful people will comment on your lack of self esteem
So true! I love to look at the beauty standards each decade and how drastically different “beautiful” actually is to the masses.
Flip Flops and Furs
So good to read this today. I’ve been feeling so crappy about my looks lately. It’s funny too because my hubby tells me I’m beautiful everyday. I need to start looking at myself the way he sees me.
It’s true – we are all beautiful in our own way. We all see differently. What I might see in one person another will totally overlook. That is why the physical is so very unimportant.
After 4 kids , i struggled, now I am thinner but I feel exhausted and any pics I may be a little thinner but so tired. I love your idea of beauty within because that is really what makes a person Love your post
I love your post. Everybody is beautiful in their own way.
Beauty is within, but we always ignore this. We are often concerned with how we look physically.
Having a positive body image is one of the most powerful things a woman can have, and it is a source of freedom she will have never known before. Being constantly bombarded with images and talking heads trying to tell us what we should be and what we should aspire to, it is truly amazing when we can say no to all of that and be truly happy in ourselves just how we are right now.
I love your picture it describes all. I can see myself in picture. Many times I feel I should diet and reduce weight. Your post is really good.